Some time has passed and both Kirk and I have finished our military service. It’s around early 1986. Kirk found a place to stay in Fremont, California and since he became married to a wonderful person, Stephanie. More on her, later. I was unceremoniously fired from my first Cali job and landed a second as a cashier at a local health food store. I liked that job much better and the owners grew to trust me. During this time, I hung out with Kirk and Stephanie often poaching meals as often as they’d have me (which was unusually often). I was a pest. I had no other family in Cali. Kirk and Stephanie were it. He took me under his wing. He promised to look out for me after I finished my obligation with the Navy. He was true to his word. He must’ve let Stephanie know, because, she didn’t seem to mind my regular appearances at their home…especially for dinner. Kirk kept the music focus alive by purchasing the latest drum machine of that time (Yamaha RX7). I remember that thing seemed so futuristic to me! He allowed me to play with and program it. I stayed until late in the morning, some times. He had a room dedicated for any equipment he got. I remember, apparently, playing that RX7 until I passed out from sleep, only to awaken with Stephanie gently placing a blanket over me. What kindness and neighborly love. My life skills sucked and I didn’t know I was autistic, but, Kirk stood by me, quirks and all.

Kirk and I remained focused on the music we wanted to make. He was putting together a group. I saw it all happening. I went to his rehearsals. It was in its infancy. At first, I was not very interested in rap music having come from a contemporary jazz and funk music background. Little did I know, my music background was perfect for the Hip Hop world. I watched all of this, but, didn’t realize what was developing right before my eyes. 

About mid 1987, Kirk called me. What a difference a year makes. I’m no longer working as a buyer for the health food store. Now a widow, the remaining owner felt it was best to retire and let the store go. Jobless, again, I picked up a security position at AMD (Advanced Micro Devices). It paid well only because I worked 16 hour shifts pretty often. I made bad financial decisions in purchasing cars (and trucks) that weren’t very good. This led me to trade in cars over and over until I was upside down in a car that would take me many years to pay off. I cut expenses by moving in with a roommate to split rent. Soon, my roommate left me holding the bag for the full amount. I bought more music equipment, but, purchased most of it through credit. Metaphorically, I was building my house with a deck of cards. Anything could impact me and poof! This is my situation.

Kirk reassured me, on this call, he had my back. I wasn’t helping myself, though. I didn’t fully understand that I wasn’t taught good financial life skills. Kirk was. As a kid he learned a ton from Oakland A’s owner, Charlie Finley. I was drowning in debt and didn’t know how I was going to keep treading water. He said something like, “Buck, I’ll pay your rent, bills…whatever you need. Just come on.” Kirk was confident he had a record deal lined up. It was too good to be true. My autistic mind could not wrap around what I was hearing and I turned him down. I surmised that he was offering me charity. WHAT?!?!?!?!!!! I kept babbling stuff like, ‘I have to take responsibility for these debts and be a man. I have to figure this out for myself.‘ I don’t know what I was exposed to growing up that made me think someone offering to pay my rent and bills, while working for them, was not being responsible, but, there you go. I was, also, in a very toxic relationship with someone which didn’t help… at all. All the combined stresses and anxieties badly warped my judgement (on top of the autism) to the point of turning my only close friend’s offer down. I was a mental mess. Still, he didn’t give up on me. What happened next, though? Stay tuned…

Additional clarifying details on how this situation really went down will be covered in a book, coming soon.


LOVE, PEACE & MUSIC

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